Listen up, people. Here's what we know so far.
J'Son, aka my jerk of a dad, has five Centurion helmets.
Incredibly powerful objects in the wrong hands...
aka my dad's hands...
could be used to take over the galaxy.
We need to find our friend Adam Warlock,
the only being who could stand up to the power of those helmets.
And how do we do that, Quill?
It ain't like the guy left us a krutackin' forwarding address.
Good point, Rocket.
But we do know people who've mentioned myths
from their home worlds about Warlock.
One of them, unfortunately, no longer has his original home world to investigate.
I am Groot.
Which leaves us with one last option.
That's a stretch even for you, Quill.
If Drax knew something about how to contact Warlock, why not mention it before?
Because, Gamora, I did not wish to speak of it.
You've been holding out on us, ya big, green cue ball? Spill!
But I have no liquid to spill.
It's a metaphor, dummy!
It means tell us what you know before I blast it outta ya!
It will take more than feeble threats to get me to admit
that my planet has a temple that, according to legend,
contains a beacon that can summon the Warlock.
O-kay.
So, I'm thinking we set a course for Drax's home world now.
Absolutely not.
I refuse to return there under any circumstance!
Nor will I discuss the matter any further!
But...
Hey! I worked hard on that!
Okay. What say we just back off and soothe that stress with a little tuneage?
♪ Love's a roller coaster... ♪
These words make no sense.
How can love be a roller coaster
when one can neither see, nor touch it?
It's a song, Drax. The lyrics don't matter,
as long as it swings, baby.
Really? You're gonna go with another metaphor?
You just have to crank it up
and tune out the rest of the world.
Okay, set a course for Drax's home world.
♪ What?! What did you say?!
I am Groot.
Of course it's dishonest. That's why it'll work.
Quill! What have you done?
You deceived me!
I would recognize my home planet's scent anywhere!
I'm sorry, man.
I didn't wanna lie, but the universe...
kind of in mortal danger right now.
And look, we didn't think you'd come if we told the truth.
You are correct.
There's a lot more at stake than you not wanting to face your past.
Behold, the Temple of the Destroyer!
Everybody else just seeing a rock wall?
The temple lies beyond the rock wall.
Only one can pass through it to the sacred space within... the Destroyer.
- Imposter! - Huh?
You are not the Destroyer.
I am the Destroyer.
You should never have returned, Drax!
Xeron, cease this attack.
I mean you no harm.
That makes one of us!
You think you can bribe me with this delicacy?
It is not even cooked!
I'll show ya cooked!
Do not interfere!
This is my fight and mine alone!
For once we agree, Drax the Traitor.
Only a coward lets others fight their battles.
Well, that's just too bad, lady, 'cause we're the Guardians, and we stick together!
What do your adhesive properties have to do with this fight?
Oh, great. Another of the metaphorically challenged.
That's it!
I am Groot!
You may have secured victory, Drax, but you did so without honor.
Which is why I am the one true Destroyer.
Isn't that more of a Drax thing?
He insults our sacred traditions by bearing that title.
And to return now, of all times, with the Warlock upon us.
So you know about Warlock.
It is my sworn duty.
When the Warlock returns, the Destroyer must enter the temple
to summon him with the sacred beacon,
and destroy him.
Okay, you had me at "summon," then you lost me at "destroy."
Xeron, there is much we must discuss in regard to the Warlock.
I have nothing to discuss with a heretic who turned his back on his duty
to pursue fame and fortune.
That is not true!
I did it for love.
There was a time when being crowned Destroyer meant everything to me.
Xeron and I trained together, competing for this highest honor among our people.
Eventually, the time came when I was given what I desired most.
I became Drax the Destroyer.
Though fate had other plans for me.
I knew the Destroyer was forbidden to have a family,
but I could not deny my feelings for Ovette.
So we fled our home, never to return.
You swore an oath, Drax.
The bonds of friends and family make you weak.
The Destroyer walks alone.
And I have. My wife and daughter...
they perished at the hands of Thanos and his puppet, Ronan.
I am vexed that my feelings for them can bring such happiness
and also such pain.
Well, maybe because love is like a roller coaster?
Metaphor. I do not understand it,
but I have learned to identify it.
I do not care for your meaningless words.
I became Destroyer in your absence, but only by default.
I could never live up to your legacy.
Only the true Destroyer can enter the temple.
Then perhaps, for all my sins,
I am still the true Destroyer?
Just once,
couldn't these mystic mumbo jumbo prophecies
come with an instruction manual?
The instructions are clear.
We must battle to the finish so the true Destroyer may be revealed.
No! Do not interfere! This is my fight!
Drax!
We are inside the Temple of the Destroyer.
Unacceptable.
Only one can enter the temple.
It is written.
And yet there are two.
Which means someone here does not belong.
I am Groot.
Heed me.
I am the Sphinx, and this is my test.
The best answer destroys the question.
What walks on four legs in the morning,
two legs at midday,
and three in the evening?
Oh, it's a riddle.
Not just a riddle, a metaphor.
They're flarged.
It is a trial.
The temple seeks to find the true Destroyer.
You, Sphinx,
bring me this many-limbed creature, and I will dispatch it.
I do not think there is a creature.
It sounds more like a metaphor.
Enough with your strange words! I will handle this!
All you have done is trigger a trap!
A trap that will end us both!
Xeron!
Do not touch me!
Did I do something wrong?
You interfered.
Have you forgotten our ways completely?
The Destroyer walks alone!
That has not been my experience.
Friends and allies have helped me in the past.
Although, clearly, they will not help me solve this riddle.
"It walks on four legs in the morning,
two at midday, and three in the evening."
What creature has such attributes?
Oh, hang on. I remember this one from when I was a kid.
It's man!
Because he starts out crawling as an infant... four legs.
Then walks on two.
Then needs a cane in old age... three legs.
I am Groot.
Yeah. I'll never get humie biology either, bud.
Look! The Sphinx must have seen my warrior spirit!
Or perhaps it is because I destroyed the trap?
Which path do we take now?
Until I am measured I am not known,
yet how you miss me when I have flown.
What am I?
A new metaphor.
Enough games!
I am the Destroyer, and the Destroyer acts!
No, Xeron! Wait!
Quill, "measured," "flown"...
The answer is time.
Great. So which of these squiggles means "time" in Drax-ese?
Drax, you're running out of time to solve this riddle!
How do you know I'm trying to solve a riddle?
Wait. Are you inside the temple?
Yeah.
No. You must go.
You are not permitted to be here!
Drax, who are you speaking to?
I am speaking to... myself.
We are running out of time.
Time!
Run to the symbol of time!
Whoo-hoo!
Why run when you can fly?
So this is why you have been winning, Drax.
You were cheating!
Technically, we were the ones cheating.
Oh, and you're welcome.
But you are not!
Not here, not now, not ever!
When is what weighs you down
also what lifts you up?
"When is what weighs you down also what lifts you up?"
What a difficult riddle. If only there was someone
I could discuss it with.
Drax, can you hear me? Say the riddle again.
Drax!
More cheating!
Have you not a shred of honor?
I am not cheating because I am not competing.
We are being punished for your weakness.
You call yourself the Destroyer,
but what have you ever destroyed besides your own family?
You blame Thanos, you blame Ronan,
but the fault is yours!
You are right.
I was not strong enough to protect them.
It is a shame I live with always.
I call myself Destroyer,
hoping one day I will believe it.
Do not just stand there! Lift!
Yeah! Ha!
I understand the riddle now.
The friends and family which weigh us down also lift us up.
The temple wants us to work together.
Preposterous!
As I said, friends and allies are always beneficial.
False! Your friends have merely triggered another trap!
Is that... the beacon?
Ha! In your face, tattooed lady!
No! In that monster's chest!
Nobody panic. I can handle this.
We just need to soothe the savage beast with a little music.
♪ ...dream, and you're real ♪
♪ 'Cause my heart's beatin' through my chest ♪
♪ And... ♪
Okay, everybody can panic now.
No...
Xeron, attacking the Sphinx will only endanger my friends.
We must attempt to solve the riddle.
All that matters is retrieving the beacon.
And I will use it to summon the Warlock and destroy him.
I must help my friends.
But riddles and metaphors...
The brain of Drax does not work this way!
Yes! I will consult Quill's Oracle of Metaphor!
I cannot parse these words or their meanings.
Unless... What was it Quill said?
"The lyrics do not matter, so long as it swings."
Prepare to swing, foul beast!
You, too, Xeron! Swing with Drax!
As I thought.
The temple does want us to work together.
Oh, I feel like I'm gonna hurl from getting hurled!
At last!
The Warlock shall be summoned and destroyed.
We can't let you do that, Xeron.
Do you know the destruction the Warlock has wrought
on my people throughout the ages?
This is my sacred duty. Tell them, Drax!
I have met Adam Warlock.
He is an honorable, if naive soul.
You are on a first-name basis with our hated enemy?
Does your betrayal know no bounds?
Guardians, what... what's happened?
It's all right, Adam. We're here to help. Just stay cool.
I don't want to be here!
Quill, we have a problem. His gem's getting dark.
That's never a good sign.
Just look at him! His rage! He is an animal!
What do you expect? You have him in a cage!
He doesn't know how to control his powers.
He just needs to calm down.
Let me go!
Drax!
You must fulfill your destiny.
Atone for your past mistakes.
What did your family bring you in the end except loss?
Remember, the Destroyer walks alone!
Yes, my family brought me pain,
but it is a pain I carry gladly.
And their memory makes me strong, not weak,
as do my friends.
Huh?
Thank you, friend Drax.
I'm feeling much better now.
Why would the Warlock save my life
after I tried to end his?
A riddle to ponder, perhaps.
Okay, how's about we save the hugs for when we get outta here? Great. Run!
The entrance is still gone.
The Sphinx called it a test. He said, "The best answer destroys the question."
The question: Who is the true Destroyer?
We are!
I owe you all an apology.
Whatever your Warlock once was,
he clearly does not deserve to be destroyed.
If the Warlock does become a threat to the galaxy,
I will not hesitate to fulfill my destiny.
I would expect no less, Xeron the Destroyer,
as I must fulfill my own destiny
to help the Guardians to rid the galaxy of a great evil.
So you heard about my dad then.
Farewell, friend Drax.
I confess, our experience has left me with many questions
about the true purpose of the Destroyer.
Perhaps it is a metaphor.
Friends help us destroy weakness, destroy ignorance,
so that we might be free to become our best selves.
After my experience, I thought I would try
to better understand "metaphor" by writing a song of my own.
♪ When we met, I fell for you ♪
♪ Which is a lie because my balance is true ♪
♪ My love for you could fill the sea ♪
♪ But obviously not literally ♪
♪ Because love is an abstract notion ♪
♪ And has no substance with which to fill an ocean ♪
I am Groot!
Well, I don't think it literally
emits a foul stench, but it kind of stinks.
Do not judge until you have heard the other 59 verses.
Must I remind you? The lyrics do not matter, so long as it swings.
I'll show ya swingin'!